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[witticaster]

The Bachelor's Recipe Box

So called because I think "bachelor" is a fucking awesome word. It's fun to say, it's handsome to look at, and it used to refer to squires. Lawl. ANYWAY, cooking. It is kind of hard, but not that hard. Especially if you have easy recipes on-hand. And those're what I bring you today. ♥

NOTE TO SELF ADD TO THIS AS YOU THINK OF MORE GOOD LITTLE RECIPES.


You Will Need:
the sweet potato(es) of your choosing
some aluminum foil in a pan
a fork
an oven

Preheat the oven to 400. Wash off your sweet potato (or potatoes, as the case may be). Put the aluminum foil in whatever pan you're cooking it in, because then you won't have to wash the pan afterwards, and that's a benefit everyone can get behind. Take the sweet potato(es) and stab those motherfuckers with the fork. When you're bored of that and the oven's hot enough, put the potato(es) in the foil-lined pan, put the pan in the oven, and set the oven timer for about an hour, maybe an hour and ten minutes if they're huge. The potato(es) will be perfect when all the sugar in them starts oozing out and crystalizing (and this is why you oughta be glad we're doing this with aluminum foil). Cut 'em open, cover them in butter, and eat. It's not technically an entree, of course, but it is filling as hell.

You can bake sweet potatoes in the microwave, too, but I don't think they turn out as nice. 4-5 minutes for one potato if you're desperate, and add 2-3 minutes for each additional potato.



You Will Need:
a box of pasta
a jar of marinara sauce
a can of chickpeas
whatever vegetables you have lying around
two saucepans
a colander

Pour the pasta sauce in one of the saucepans and put it on the stove at low to medium heat. Put enough water in the other saucepan to conceivably cover your pasta (either check the box or eyeball it, whatever), cover it, and put it on the stove at medium heat. Open the can of chickpeas, dump them in the colander in the sink, and run water over them; that'll make them significantly less sodium-laced, and also, not full of weird chickpea juice like in the can. Dump them in with the sauce. Wash and cut up your vegetables, if you have any--actually, you might want to cut those up first, whatever--and dump them in with the sauce, too. Try to keep an eye on the sauce so it doesn't burn onto the bottom of the pan or anything--if it's starting to bubble hardxcore, the heat should probably be turned down some. When the water's boiling, add your pasta and cook it however long the box says. Probably eight or nine minutes. When it's properly noodly-looking, drain it in the colander, and then dump it in with the sauce. Make sure the pasta's properly mixed up with the sauce and then you're done. Oh, and remember to turn off the stove. Forgetting is a bad choice, I know from personal experience.

Oh, and if you have some shredded cheese, put it on top, and eat some bread on the side. Obviously.



You Will Need:
a small saucepan
the metal steamer thing (it's on the top shelf next to the colander, if that helps)
whatever vegetables you need to use up

Clean off the vegetables. Cut 'em up as necessary. Meanwhile, put the steamer in the saucepan, and then fill it with water until you can just see it sloshing up through the holes in the steamer when you slosh the pan around. Put the vegetables in the steamer, cover it, and put it on the stove at medium heat. At some point, the vegetables will be done; they change colour, sort of, and if you're not sure, you'll just have to eat one and see if it's thoroughly steamed. Warning: if you steam it too long, the broccoli will get kind of wilted and olive-coloured. On the other hand, if you like it like that, then replace "warning" with "surprise!"

Technically, this is a side, but if you're feeling lazy and not all that hungry, it's also a main course. And a really easy way to get rid of vegetables.



You Will Need:
1 lb. ground meat (beef or turkey or veal or chicken, whatevs)
1 slice of bread
1 egg
1 frying pan & pot lid
as much cheese as you want
some more bread, or hamburger buns or something

If the ground meat needs to be defrosted, put it in the fridge or defrost it in the microwave. With that done, put it in a bowl. Tear up the slice of bread into pieces and put in the bowl. Crack the egg into the bowl. Mix meat, egg, and bread together (oh, you can put in pepper or garlic or whatever tf you want, too, btw), and then divide into four patties, about palm-sized. Put the frying pan on the stove and put it on medium heat. You can put some oil in, too, if you want, but if it's a teflon pan, it's not strictly necessary. When it's warmed up, put the first two patties on there. Cook them until they're no long raw on the inside. Put cheese on them, other condiments as necessary, and then eat them on bread or buns or whatever.



You Will Need:
1 potato
1 cookie sheet / jelly roll pan

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Wash the potato off. Peel it if you prefer it skinless. Cut the potato up; thin round slices are pretty easy, but if you'd prefer to do chunks or try cutting it in the shape of french fries, go on ahead. (Use more potatoes as necessary.) Pam the cookie sheet. Lay out the cut-up potato in one layer on the cookie sheet. Pam the potatoes. Put on salt or whatever if you want some spices cooking on it. When the oven hits 350, put the cookie sheet in, and check them after fifteen-twenty minutes. When they look edible, pull 'em out and eat them.

Comments

[pitseleh]

heeee, thank you. I will make some of these tomorrow :|

[witticaster]

And I will remember to edit in the version of quiche we usually end up making, and a couple other things that've slipped my mind just now. I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN DO IT and I am very proud of you for cooking burgers. ♥