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[personal profile] witticaster
OKAY. Notes on The Mummy Returns, separate from the previous iteration because I would like to regard the films separately.

God, these historical openings are kind of yawnsville. BUT I AM GOING TO WATCH ANYWAY.

I'm going to be so disappointed in Evy's clothes in this movie, aren't I. Man, why can't she wear a nice bias-cut silk dress like all the other pretty ladies in the 30s.

The Rock's hair is deeply silly.

EGYPT, 1933 (aka 7 years after 1926, HMMM)

GUN. We are five minutes in and Rick has pulled a gun. Good stuff.

BABY WANTS TO COME PLAY

Alex hasn't heard about his parents' Imhotep adventure yet. Also, Rick's pretty good at saying no, which is good know.

SNAKE IN THE FACE.

Evy, your clothes are awful. Even if you are ATTRACTIVE, SWEET, AND DEVILISHLY CHARMING.

I like that she gives into his hack-and-slashing but haets it.

So it's a cardigan and a tanktop and locket and belt and this is too stupid to catalogue.

So they're all there because of a ~dream~. So cutes.

...he's really building a mousetrap. A YOUNG RUBE GOLDBERG, THIS.

and has clearly been told "alex, honey, if mummy and daddy are elsewhere and you hear someone coming, HIDE." which I think is adoracutes.

EVY PUT YOUR GODDAMN HAIR UP I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE PRETTY WITH IT DOWN, TOO. It just looks so lovely up, and she could keep the kohl eyeliner, that's fine.

gets so entirely lost in thought and doesn't really notice at allllll if it means she's being strange

STOP TOUCHING THE COBWEBS

does have quite a bit of adventure in her, but mostly it's pandora's-box adventure. she's happy to live in a library and read all day, but if she can discover something new? IT'S DISCOVERIN' TIME, BITCHES.

Ever the optimist, Evy. "Well, that doesn't sound too bad."

Yeah, Alex is like the worst attributes of his parents combined. Brash, mouthy, impulsive, and too smart for his own good. Probably more Evy than Rick ultimately, but I think there's a lot of both of them in there.

This scene is all a little scarier if you assume Evy's afraid of drowning. Though she's pretty chill, so maybe I should rethink that.

Awww, Alex totally thinks he made the water happen, doesn't he.

FLAMETHROWERS ON THE SCARAB BEETLES. This movie is silly.

ARDETH WILL SAVE EVERYONE. I wonder if this means they cut a deal with the

Cowboy hat! Awwwww.

Man, somebody is whipped. Ish. It's just so much fun to watch them being all touchy-feely together. I like the idea that Evy wins arguments through sex appeal and complimenting his height on occasion.

"Goddang ton" is bad language, Alex. :|

I feel like I should catalogue everything I can see in the backhround of their house. That's a project I'd need to save for later, though.

GOD DAMN IT, ALEX.

I imagine after a while, Evy's fascination with Egypt translates to Rick reading the occasional thing about it.

Evy, curator of the British Museum? I can see it. That'd be bamf.

Awwww, did you seriously dip her, Rick, that is adorable.

"Those knickers...are not mine."

All the women in this show wear such stupid clothing.

Jonathan has all the wild parties in the Carnahan ancestral home.

Alex gets grounded~

SWORD. and look, a tiffany lamp.

OH ARDETH *shoujo bubbles*

Rick O'Connell, expert snake-thrower.

When did you learn gymnastics, Evy, seriously. Or is this just your reincarnation shit coming through? Oh, yeah, that's it. Better question: How did you do that without your chest coming out?

Also, Rick and Evy should have all the fighting lessons later.

God, it's gonna cost to fix up that house after. ALL THOSE BULLET HOLES.

There are at least two tiffany lamps in this house.

FLY THROUGH THE STAINED GLASS WINDOW. God, this'll be expensive to fix up.

CHLOROFORM AND SUICIDE DOORS. man, I am recording all the important things.

Ahahahaha, Alex is at the British Museum all the time. ALL THE TIME. I suppose Evy works there most of the time?

C'mon, Jonathan, you don't even want to help rescue your sister? That's low, duded, you've changed.

Man, Evy wakes up tied to slabs a lot. Except she doesn't seem to actually be tied down this time.

God, this movie is stupid. I don't know if I actually want to finish it--I mostly just want to watch Rick and Evy be supercutes together. :<

Alex is a cute little storyteller, and Jonathan will listen to his stories, awww.

RUNNING THROUGH FIRE TO SAVE YOUR WIFE
THAT IS DEVOTION, KIDS

and now a bunch more machinegun fire

how do you break the key to a car is it made of tin or something

Evy has clearly gotten better at guns in the last seven years

Yeah, so Alex is eight here, which is a physical impossibility, and the animated series is set a year later, when he's eleven. THIS FRANCHISE.

Also, Rick loves cars. IS HIS CAR HIS BABY QUITE POSSIBLY. Evy regards this with amusement more than anything, but she can't really laugh, because lookit all the ridiculous shit she loves. THEY LIVE IN A WORLD OF FAST CARS AND DELICIOUS BOOKS.

This bus scene is also really silly, though I never grow tired of watching him hold bullets between his teeth like a boss.

GRAB THE GUN, EVY. I assume the primary reason she's not falling over from recoil is the bus behind her. >> It's not like she's any larger in this movie after all.

Jonathan's thousand-yard stare is amazing.

WE ALMOST DIED LET'S FUCK. this is my favourite thing, is the idea that when they are happy to be alive, they just can't keep their hands off each other. THEY WILL TAKE COMFORT IN EACH OTHERS' SOLIDITY AND EMBARRASS THEIR BAYBEE.

So yeah, let's just end it here. This is enough for me.
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